Thursday, July 26, 2007

"Kroger Generic Cereals"

Skip to the random thought

Many grocery stores have an extensive collection of generic cereals that they manufacture themselves. (Cereal must not be that hard to make.) And some of them have funny (or at least interesting) names.

Kroger has quite a selection of Kroger-brand cereal. So, when I went to Kroger this week, I brought a pen and paper with me and wrote down the names of all of their names. Here's the list, in alphabetical order:

Active Lifestyle
Apple Cinnamon Toasted Oats
Apple Dapples
Bite Size Frosted Wheat
Bran Flakes
Chip Mates Cookie Cereal
Chocolate Marshmallow Cosmos
Cinnamon Swirls
Cocoa & Peanut Butter Fusion
Cocoa Crispy Rice
Cocoa Crunchies
Corn Bitz
Corn Flakes
Crisp Berry Crunch
Crisp Crunch
Crisp'n Fruity Rice
Crispy Rice
Frosted Flakes
Frosted Wheat
Fruit & Frosted O's
Golden Corn Nuggets
Honey Crisp Medley
Honey G Rounds
Honey Grahams
Honey Nut Bitz
Honey Nut Toasted Oats
Low Fat Granola
Marshmallow Treasures
Raisin Bran
Rice Bitz
Toasted Oats

That's 32 varieities of generic cereal. (And that doesn't include all of the flavors of Bite Size Frosted Wheat.) Try them all!

Some comments:
- Evidently, "frosted flakes", "corn flakes", and "raisin bran" are generic enough names such that Kellogg's can't trademark them. Instead, they market those products as "Kellogg's Frosted Flakes", "Kellogg's Corn Flakes", and so forth.
- I think my favorite name is "Honey G Rounds". What is that, exactly? Well, I think it's Honey Comb. But where did 'G' come from? Are they trying to be hip? "Yo, hook me up with some Honey G Rounds, G." I also like "Golden Corn Nuggets" (Corn Pops). But my favorite generic cereal name of all time is Crispy Hexagons, a generic Crispix that can be found at Publix and Weis (among others, I'm sure). Kroger does not have a generic Crispix, sadly.
- The only cereal I couldn't come up with an obvious name brand equivalent was "Chocolate Marshmallow Cosmos". Is there a chocolate-flavored Lucky Charms? Or a variety of Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs with marshmallows? I didn't see one on the shelf.
- Aside from that one cereal, I think it's pretty easy to tell which cereal they're attempting to mimic, just as long as you understand all of their names. For example, "toasted oats" = "cheerios", "bitz" = "chex", "crispy rice" = "rice krispies".

Of those 32, I think Amber and I have purchased 5: Active Lifestyle ("Special K"), Cocoa Crunchies, Corn Flakes, Frosted Flakes, and Raisin Bran. I may have forgotten about one or two that Amber put in the grocery cart. She eats more generic cereal than I do.

857a update: Amber has informed me that it's actually called "Honey Go Rounds", not "Honey G Rounds". That's too bad.

Last Year: "Emissions Processing: Explained". One of my few posts where I talk about work. A quote from that post: "I bet in a year, I'll barely have to think." Wow, I was wrong on that one. If I did the same stuff at work I did a year ago, then I wouldn't have to think. But I do a lot more at work now than I used to.

Tomorrow: "Cute Baby Pictures".

Today's random thought:

- Most interstates have a high quantity of billboards, but it doesn't really bother me. While other forms of intrusive advertisement can be annoying, interstate billboards seem acceptable to me. I guess billboards are just part of the interstate landscape. That is, except in Vermont, Maine, Alaska, and Hawaii, four states that have outlawed billboards completely. That's funny - I drove almost the entire length of I-95 in Maine four months ago, and I didn't even notice the lack of billboards.


Walter said...

Could "Chocolate Marshmallow Cosmos" possibly be a knock-off of Count Chocula?

Chris Allen said...

Yes, indeed it is. (I didn't know off-hand that Count Chocula had marshmallows, but it does.)

Courtney said...

This is a two year old blog BUT... I am on the look out for new cereal. I googled Kroger brand cereal. This post is beautiful.

Chellie said...

This is an old post, but generic chocolate lucky charms is known as chocolate marshmallow mateys from malt-o-meal

Anonymous said...

Where is the soggy oats, aka oatmeal. Where are the cocoa comets, aka cocoa puffs. Where are the fruit da loops,aka froot loops!